


I See The Island

by ThrowMeAStory



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Force Awakens, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Minor Character Death, Movie: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, POV Ben Solo, POV First Person, POV Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28978995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThrowMeAStory/pseuds/ThrowMeAStory
Summary: Kylo's pov of The Force Awakens
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	I See The Island

"Why should I apologize for the monster I've become? No one ever apologized for making me this way"- The Joker

Sitting by the window in my shuttle I stare out the small window, admiring the stars in the sky from behind my mask while waiting for the Stormtrooper unit to clear the ground before we can land on Jakku. Looking for the map to Skywalker had been my primary goal since hearing that the old Jedi had gone into self imposed exile, especially knowing the reason why and anticipating meeting him again to exact some justice. As I get the signal that we are landing, I prepare to leave the shuttle and face Lor San Tekka, one of the handful of people who knows that Ben Solo is the face under my mask. As we come face to face, I let the rage take over as he tries to pontificate that I did not belong on the Dark Side. 

Using my saber I strike him down as I lift my hand stop a blaster bolt with the force. My fury increased as Poe Dameron was thrown down in front of me. He tried to use humor to deflect my incoming questions about the map, not realising that I already knew he had it. Telling the Troopers to put him on my shuttle, my imagination already running rampant thinking about all the ways I could break General Leia's golden boy, then get to Skywalker before her and her soon to be obliterated Resistance. 

Phasma asked about the villagers. I told her to kill them all I feel someone's eyes on me, turning back to face a Stormtrooper with blood streaked down the front of his helmet. Feeling the fear and doubt seeping out from under their armor. Brushing it off I stride back toward the transport releasing the bolt that was still in mid air, deliberately aiming it near the scared figure

I mention it to Phasma over comn's as we approach Starkiller Base, also giving her instructions to sent the trooper, who I now know is named FN-2187 to reconditioning. Heading to the cell holding the pilot who was beaten within an inch of his worthless little life and strapped down to a interrogation chair. Dameron still tries to crack jokes like a imbecile. When he says I should rethink my technique I grin maliciously under the mask.

Reaching out with the force I start slowly searching through his head. Still trying to resist, I just rip into his brain without any care to whether or not he lived or died after I got what I wanted. Flashes of a white and orange droid rolling away into the dunes of Jakku tell me all I need to know. Pulling back I turn around and leave the so called 'best pilot in the resistance' to his fate. 

Telling Hux about the droid and it's location, I walk towards my chambers to think about what had happened tonight. Alarms sound through the ship, informing me that someone had escaped. Turning around and marching into the command centre I ask Hux to confirm what I already knew what was going on. Poe Dameron had escaped and he'd probably had help from inside the order.

Before Hux mentions having Stormtroopers checked, I knew who it was and where they were headed. They wouldn't get far enough to even graze the edge of the near barren sand planet before they get shot down. Knowing there was nothing I could do tonight I get all the way back to my quarters and lock myself in. I fully intended to do what I was going to do earlier but as my head hit the pillow, I was unconscious.

Walking the length of the bridge with Hux the next day, he told me what the Supreme Leader instructions had been upon their personal meeting this morning. I couldn't help myself from questioning him about his soldiers capabilities, knowing it would rile him up and make him go redder than normal in his rage. I knew that if the droid was destroyed it could take years for me to find Skywalker again. Later on, after skulking off I'm found by one of Hux's lapdogs who had come to inform me what Hux didn't have the nerve to tell me to my face. 

They had failed to capture the droid and it had gotten away with help. There was only one thought at the forefront of my mind as my saber cut into everything in it's reach. FN-2187 was going to die a very slow and very painful death when I find him. Stopping to ask the lieutenant if there was anything else, my hand automatically shooting out to pull him towards me when he mentioned a girl, both rage and curiosity coursing through my being.

Hours later, Hux and I where standing before of Snoke's hologram. The ginger irritant tried to make his plan sound much grander than it was. After Hux smugly strode out the room, I was left alone with the Supreme Leader. The topic changed to my father and his piece of junk that he called a ship.

The only thing I could do was reassure him that by the grace of his training I would not be seduced to the light. His evil smile was the last thing I see as the hologram disappeared. Not wanting to think about my father I shut myself up in my chambers, taking a seat in front of grandfather's mask. I hoped that talking to him would clear my mind so I could carry on with my plan. 

Suddenly I felt something in me pulse, like someone had stuck a live wire into the force and it had hit me directly. Getting to my feet I stride out to the command centre and stand by the window. The red beam lightning up the entire system made me feel like I was about to be sick. Thousands of people being needlessly murdered for no reason, apart from Hux being evil just to prove a point. 

Walking away I board my command shuttle to follow up on the tip we had regarding the map. It came from a first order spy on the planet Takodana. Why Snoke thought that destroying a planet would get people to fall in line was beyond my comprehension. Scared people act out of fear not logic. 

My thoughts kept trying to find a justification why it was necessary but I kept coming up with nothing. It was a waste of life that could have been used in a way to help to progression of the order. Coming off my ship I'm informed that the droid was spotted west with the girl. Moving through the wreckage of the once alive castle I head into the forest.

Following the force that was guiding me towards the chaos, I see her immediately. She starts firing at me while backing away, turning and darting away further into the greenery. I deflect every bolt fired at me until I can stop her in her tracks, bringing her to an abrupt stop. Circling her I take her in, struggling to see how she had caused so many problems being so small and looking so fragile.

Reaching my hand out I nearly graze her face as I try as gently as I can to search her mind. One thought stood out instantly, she had seen the map. Carrying on my search through her mind I see the same sand planet that had become a very annoying constant in this hunt for my ex master. The horribly dry air and the golden sand that I had seen more than enough of for this lifetime. 

I saw her climbing wrecks of large metal shells and scaling both interiors and exteriors for parts. So that's what she was. Not a member of the resistance or even the first order. Not a person of military standing or any standing for that matter. 

She was a scavenger.

As we were interrupted a sudden thought entered my mind, I could just take her instead of hunting for the droid. I wave my hand and render her unconscious. I then catch her before she falls, lifting her into my arms and striding to my shuttle. Hearing someone shout the scavenger's name, Rey.

Placing her down on the seats I sit by her the entire way back to Starkiller Base. After I strap her to the interrogation chair, I crouch down by her. She looked really peaceful, like she was in a world that no one else could enter. Somehow that made me calm enough to wait for her to wake naturally.

Rey suddenly jerks awake, her eyes darting around the cell. She ask about her friends and I tell her the truth. I had no idea where they were. When she calls me a creature in a mask I can't resist showing her my face. 

Placing my mask on the podium and revel her reaction, she looked slightly stunned my face wasn't a scarred mess. Moving towards her I ask her to tell me about the droid. Trying to throw me off she starts listing of useless facts about the BB unit in question. I notice when I call her a scavenger she looks almost afraid I knew of her way of life.

Telling her I could take whatever I want might have been a step to far, although she didn't look like she believed me. Leaning almost into her, I begin to search through her mind for a second time. Rey tried to strain away from me but strapped down she had knowhere to go. For a few moments I can feel an energy flowing through her, an energy that was also flowing through me.

Travelling through her memories I see her life through her eyes. The loneliness and the fear. The desperate need to sleep and the crippling hunger. The hot sun and the fatigue from being on the move all day.

I see the ocean in her dreams, bright blue tinged with green and grey. The ocean was surrounding an island, also covered in green and grey. The sun bright but the air chilled from the wind. The salt from the sea palatable in the air.

There where tears gently sliding down her face as I saw her knock over the traitor on that forsaken planet. I felt her glee as she piloted the waste of metal that I had spent a majority of my childhood feeling second best to. The useless bundle of brown fur that was Han Solo's companion and finally him. I could feel the connection the scavenger felt to the smuggler, like the father she never had.

Informing her of Solo's short comings as a parent slightly stung but I shook it off quickly, returning to face her. The energy that flowed between us before started to reemerge as I started to search further into her memories. Without warning I felt something probing my mind, like the force was pushing itself through my head. Rey lurched forward, pushing me back as we fought mentally.

She slammed a barrier up in her brain as she filtered through my feelings a lot less gently than I was. Her harsh words hurting more than her actions, as I pulled back abruptly we stared at each other in shock as we tried to work out what just happened. Flustered, I grab my mask and stormed out of the room to contact the Supreme Leader. Waiting for him to respond I couldn't stop shaking, both out of rage and confusion.

Snoke was not as angry as I expected. It was almost like he already knew she was powerful with the light side and he was waiting for me to catch up. Hux sauntered in to tell him about my mistake of taking the girl and not chasing after the droid. I left the room with my new mission: bring the girl to him.

Stomping back towards the cell I saw the door was open and quickened my pace. Entering the room I saw the empty chair, she'd escaped and could be anywhere by now. My temper boiled over as I swung my lightsaber screaming through my mask. Nearly running out the room I gave every Stormtrooper the order to drop everything and find her.

Striding around the base I used the force to try and root her out but was having no luck. Being informed me of the triggered sensors filled me with dread, it could be the scavenger but it could also be Han Solo. My feeling was proved right not 2 minutes later when I felt his presence for the first time in a very long time. Crossing the bridge I froze when I heard his voice shouting my name, my real name.

Slowly I turn around to face my father for the first time in over a decade. His once brown hair had greyed significantly and his face now wrinkled. He wanted me to take my mask off so he could see the face of his son. I knew if I took it off my strength might wane but before I could stop, my hands moved to unbolt it.

His proposal to go home, to be a family again sounded to good to be true. It only confirmed what I unfortunately knew, that they didn't know about what Skywalker tried to do. I couldn't help but ask for help, even after everything I had done. Slowly handing over my lightsaber, the light coming from the weapon letting me know it was charged.

It was too late.

Not even looking down I flick the switch to turn it on. The red light reflecting in his shocked eyes as I pulled it back out. His hand reached out to touch my face and he fell backwards, down into the depths of the ship. For a few seconds I only felt numb, no power as Snoke had promised.

But the numbness quickly faded as I felt the pain slam into me as I felt what my mother was feeling. My heart felt like it had been yanked out while my head was spinning. My body felt both hot and cold. All of a sudden white hot pain slammed into my side as I felt the wookie's bowcaster shot rip into my skin.

Falling to my knees I let the pain flow through my body. Looking up I see the traitor and the scavenger shooting stormtroopers when suddenly his eyes meet mine. The only thing in FN-2187's eyes was fear as I get up and walk towards them. Noticing him grab Rey as they run towards the exit that headed into the forest.

Knowing they were going back to the falcon I took the shortcut that would intercept them on their way, beating my fist against my wound on the way. The shock on their faces was obvious as they stopped a few feet away before walking cautiously towards me. Just as the girl was about to shoot me I reached out my hand and threw her against a tree, knocking her unconscious but taking care not to hurt her. My anticipation rising as I realised that I was about to kill FN-2187.

As he picked up the lightsaber I charged at him. I let my anger take over and guide my movements, letting him get in a few blows to let him think he had a small chance. Not being able to resist using my fists and taunting him, showing him I didn't need a weapon or the force to kill him. I could do it with my bare hands if I so wished.

Deciding to end him I let my rage control my movements. It was partly his fault for defecting the cause and helping get the droid to General Organa. Slicing up his spine and leaving him to bleed out in the snow, I turn my attention to my Grandfather's saber. Trying to pull out the blade out it shook but wouldn't move so trying again, using more force it flew straight past my head.

Spinning round the sight shocked me. The girl, Rey was gripping the saber with what I imagine was the same look on her face. Shaking she ignites it, her eyes blazing as she charges at me. Having no choice but to defend myself I blow every blow and try to hit the outside of her body.

Moving through the forest it became clear that while powerful, she was untrained and reckless. She hit without aiming anywhere, only bringing down trees and melting snow when she hit the ground. Her potential was evident with every move and if she had someone to show her how to tune both her physical and force skills, she could be one of the greatest force users to live. As I steer her towards the rapidly crumbling cliff edge while our sabers push against eachother.

Offering to show her the ways of the force I could tell when she closed her eyes that Rey was reaching into herself. Opening her eyes she pushed me back, hitting out in rage that even had me concerned. The pain burned through my face before I was on the ground looking up at her. With our eyes locked on to eachother I was convinced that she was going to split me in two.

Before she could swing the lightsaber downward she stops as the ground splits open between us, seperating us. Bolting off towards the traitor I was left Lying in the cold snow, alone. Though she had scarred me and left me humiliated, I wasn't angry. My eyes drifting shut as everything went silent for what I thought was the last time.

"She will be the one standing by the ocean with the sun in her hair and a smile like a love song rising from the sea."- Mark Anthony


End file.
